ARTICLESTWO517

As you all might know from my endless ranting, I suffer from a disorder that I call unobservancey. This condition makes it impossible for me to observe things normally. For instance, just the other day, I passed Greta in the hallway. She looked right at me and bumped into me. This might all seem normal, except even after her bumping into me, I didn't know she was there. What's even sadder is that I was looking all over for her. That was just one example.
This all goes back to a day I might never forget: April 27. It was the fist day of my regular babysitting job. That Tuesday's job started out normally enough, with Vica being super annoying and me putting up with it (with a smile on my face). Soon Vica's dad left on his weekly golfing trip, and I was alone with Vica. We played "basketball" (shooting endless hoops) for about 25 minutes before Vica became bored. I then found myself "playing" on the swing set. After about 30 minutes of being forced to play in the sand box, I began bribing Vica to go inside for dinner.
After dinner, we came back outside (to my dismay) and began playing tag. That fateful game of tag was my downfall. In a fruitless attempt to tag Vica, I ducked under the slide, and on my way up tragedy struck. As I was coming up, the swing made out of a metal bar collided with my head. From that moment on, I had unobservancy.
The only cure for this disease that I know of is accidentally hitting my head on something. Unfortunately, it comes back if I hit my head again after that. I hope this wonderfully informative article has raised you awareness so something like this will never happen to you. Good luck.

Despair
"…And after The Sun's tears turned the pieces if The Gentle Moon into children, The Sun sent his children down to one of the planets and gave them many gifts. Among those gifts were beautiful oceans, rivers, and streams; along with all of the plants and animals anyone could ever want.
As the children grew, they found they had powers far beyond The Sun's. The children became arrogant and prideful. They made a race of mortals in their image so they could play around with them if they became bored. The Sun saw how flawed his children were and despaired.
In one last desperate battle, The Sun tried to put an end to his children's tyranny. All of the children, except for one, ganged up on The Sun and stole his power. This made the children even greedier, and they began trying to steel each other's power as well.
Time, the only child who did not steel the suns power, knew this could not go on much longer. Time was the recantation of The Gentle Moon, thus she was more powerful than her siblings. She could not bear the thought of destroying her siblings, no matter how much they deserved it, because of her kind and gentle nature. So Time came up with a plan to stop her siblings without having to annihilate them…"
"Hey, are you listening to me?!" Desperation yelled. Despair looked up at Desperation thinking does it look like I'm listening to you?! but instead said "I'm so sorry…this book I'm reading is so interesting, I just can't put it down."
Desperation wheeled around saying "WHAT?!? So that books more interesting that me?!" Desperation's face got red and she glared at Despair evilly. "How could you? I thought we were friends!"
Despair considered saying yeah; this book is more interesting than you! Like I need to hear you tell me a story that you've already told me only about 800 times! Why don't you go stick your whiny ass in a spiky snake infested pit and get it stuck there?! Then Despair thought that might not be the best idea in the world, so she just said "I'm…sorry…I swear I won't do it again… will you ever forgive me?"

Desperation nodded, then went back to telling her story. Despair suppressed a sigh and left Desperation's tacky castle a few minutes later. Desperation's castle looked like it had been thrown together moments before Despair had gotten there. The castle looked like it was made just to impress Despair. It was kind of like a replica of Despair's own castle. Despair knew that Desperation tried desperately to impress people.
She also knew Desperation had a horrible memory, and wouldn't remember why she was telling the story in the fist place by the time she got to the end.
Despair went back to her realm. Her realm looked like a vast sea, and her castle looked like it was floating on the waves. Her castle and a series of small islands were the only things that broke the endless sea.
Despair's castle was shaped like a teardrop. All of the colors were shades blue and purple and the occasional pink. It had the luster of a pearl. The inside had a very relaxed feel, as there were cushions and comfortable chairs everywhere. Everything (even for the walls) was soft to the touch. The walls were lined with several bookshelves that held every kind of book imaginable.
Despair scanned the bookshelves with her purple-blue eyes for something she felt like reading. After she had chosen a book, she put her purple hair into pigtails then snuggled up to read.

Bedlam
Bedlam was the first (and most loyal) minion to her master Chaos, and had even been created by him. She looked just like a normal house cat, except that she was about twice the size, and had horns, a diamond shaped jewel on her forehead. Oh, and lets not forget the bat wings.
Bedlam had been in the kitchen for some time now, waiting for her master Chaos to come down for breakfast. She sighed and looked out the window. Suddenly Bedlam heard a giant crash and thought that moron…he fell down the stairs again…
And sure enough, when Chaos came into the kitchen he said, "I'm such a moron…I fell down the stairs again…"
Bedlam looked at Chaos and nodded. Chaos just laughed and the started to dig through the refrigerator. Every once and a while Chaos would throw something back over his shoulder murmuring curses. About five minutes later, Chaos emerged from the refrigerator and yelled "Why the hell is everything in there rotten and/or rancid!?"
Bedlam just rolled her eyes and began taking the trash out to The Pile. Bedlam really didn't mind having lots of trash in the house, she just didn't like it all scattered around. So she made it her job to transport the trash from one spot to The Pile. The only reason that she hadn't taken the trash out of her masters room was because she didn't have any hands, and who knew if anything in there was safe to put in her mouth?

Darkie
Darkie the dragon lifted his head and perked his ears. He thought he had heard his master's voice, but it sounded very far away. Darkie rolled his eyes, thinking that moron must be trying to yell at me from the top floor again. Won't he ever learn?
Darkie was the second minion of Chaos. Darkie's real name was Pandemonium, but no one called him that because it was too long to say (*cough-type-cough*) and there were no good nicknames. One day Bedlam had been telling the goddess Confusion that his name was Darkie (Confusion got to confused trying to use a big word like pandemonium), and the name stuck.
Darkie looked a traditional Chinese dragon. He had a gleaming silver mane that ran down his spine to the tip of his tail where a flame always burned (yeah-just like a charmander!). His black scales were so shiny they looked polished.
Darkie just waited, because knew that Chaos would come down and tell him the message. Trying to yell things to Darkie from 308 stories away was just about as useless as trying to yell at Bedlam from the bottom basement floor (Bedlam lived in the Forest of Chaos, about two miles away from the castle).
Just as Darkie had predicted, Chaos stumbled down into Darkie's room a few minutes later. Chaos looked slightly flustered at having to walk down all of the stairs. Darkie just rolled his eyes. Chaos was the idiot who had made the stupid castle. If he had not wanted to walk up and down so many stairs, he shouldn't have made all of those floors in the first place.
"What did you want, master?" Darkie asked, and when no reply came he said "What the hell was so important that you yelled at me from the top of your tower? Tell me, damn it!"
Chaos looked at Darkie in bewilderment then said after a very dramatic pause, "Wow, you've really let go! This place is a total dump!" That was so untrue, all Darkie could do was stare at Chaos. His room only had four things in it: a bed, a furry yellow rug, a fire pit, and a pile of logs.
"Oooooh, like you're the one to talk, Mr. Ihave250yearoldclothsdecomposingonmyfloor!!!" Darkie retorted.
"Go." Chaos said solemnly.
"Where to?"
"GO!"
"Go where?!"
"JUST GO!!!"
"To WHERE, damn it?!?"
"Get me food at the grocery store, of course. All of the food in the refrigerator is absolutely rancid."
Darkie let out a sigh of exasperation. "Why didn't you tell me in that in the first place?!"
"Oh, Darkie. Watch your temper. Oh, and your mouth too. I will not tolerate fowl language in this house."
"Oh why do I ever bother talking to you? Alright, I'll get your stupid groceries, even though I don't understand why the heck you can't get them yourself."
Chaos just sighed and shook his head.

A Quiz for the bored
By MalPal

What anime would you be best suited in?(Sorry, guys, it's down to the four shows that first came to my poor fogged, sleep-deprived mind. Please gimmie a break.)

What is your ideal surroundings for a house?
A) A simple, efficient, old fashioned building where there is lots of light, and fun, sliding polished floors.
B) An apartment. if we're talking logically. Aw hell, I'd rather a giant mansion!
C) A spaceship
D) Out under the stars...or...a nice house, with BEDS!! But for now, the stars.

What would your friends be like?
A) They would be loyal, strong-minded, witty and a bit bad, but they can't resist "the good side"
B) They would have to be strong, in will and in body, so I don't have to baby sit. Oh, smart, funny, and a wee bit naughty too.
C) Bouncy, happy, good-looking, and so totally awesome!
D) Useful, resourceful, and sort of annoying. The type of annoying I can usually handle

What weapon would you use? (if you had to)
A) A trusty, tried and true katana
B) My f-ing fists.
C) The power of friendship and teamwork would see me though!
D) Heh…heh. You wouldn't believe me if I told you.

What cause would you have?
A) Suppressing evil...and getting rid of guilt
B) Kicking butt...oh yeah, and suppressing evil
C) Suppressing evil...and looking damn good while doing it!
D) A means to my own ends...and suppressing evil

What would your love interest look like?
A) They would be your average person, though, to me, they're something I can't live without
B) Abnormally strange. And damn good-looking.
C) CUUUUUTTTTTEEE!!
D) Two words. White. Hair.

MOSTLY A) You are a Kenshin Shoo-In. Your typical ways of settling conflicts are honorable, but strangely, people sometimes say otherwise. You are extremely loyal, and you love your friends dearly. You fight for what you know is right, no matter the cost to you personally. You are the epitamy of honor.

MOSTLY B) Yu Yu Hakusho is the show for you! You'd fit right in with the Fearsome Foursome themselves, all about kicking, punching, and using your own resources to win, and not being some sissy lean-on. But, you just couldn't go on without your buddies. They are the force that drives you.

MOSTLY C) you go, Sailor Earth, 'cause you'd be here at the Sailor Moon show! You're peppy, your pretty, and you've got ATTITUDE. Who cares if some people think you're a bit over the edge, you don't care 'cause you know you are! Um, duh, that was SO the desired effect!

MOSTLY D) Hang on tight and jump down a well, because you're on your way to INUYASHA. With your stubborn idealism, your unorthodox methods and your fierce friendship, we can see you in the show now! And no bossy hanou is messing with YOU. Like hell they are! YOU'RE messing with them first.

Top six reasons to do so:
6. Most guys don't have enough sense to find out a remedy to their own disease.
5. It's amusing to watch them become confused when they don't know what to do.
4. If you won't confront him, stalking him back would confuse him in his evil game and force him to ask you what's going on.
3. It gives you a sense of control for a change.
2. REVENGE!
1. Absolutely nowhere does it say in the NSG's (National Stalker's Group) handbook "What to do if your victim becomes your predator."

She says:
Long Answer?
Perhaps it isn't MEN stalking you; maybe it's paranoia.
Maybe what seems like friendly conversation to THEM is stalking to YOU.
In case of an actual stalking, I suggest either "professional help" by an appropriate official, or "professional help" from the heel of your four-inch boots.

In any case, however, know that men can (and will) go to desperate measures to get a girl. So feel flattered! And then . . . . threatened once he starts taking your picture secretly and putting your head on the body of a newlywed or something equally creepish.

Short Answer?
Assassin.

1. What is your battle strategy?
a) Go in, guns blazing. The hell with planning!
b) Kill the enemy quickly anyway you can, even if it means breaking your sword and losing your shirt in the process.
c) Kill them fast or else…bang.
d) Keep your evil, cursed arm under control and try to see with eyes unclouded by hate.
e) Attack blindly with your sword that changes size randomly. Allow your temper to influence the rest of the fight.
f) Use handy-dandy curse to your advantage.

2. What is your favorite weapon?
a) Anything that glows, fists and feet.
b) Your right arm.
c) Something that has deceiving appearance, like a single rose…that has a very convenient storage spot, your hair.
d) A bow shot from the back of a red elk.
e) A sword made from your dad's teeth.
f) Wind tunnel!

3. What's your favorite season?
a) Summer! No school cuz school sucks ass.
b) Winter. Cold, dark, and quiet.
c) Spring, when plants begin to grow.
d) Doesn't matter, Life and death are of all living things that rely on other things than seasons anyways.
e) Who cares?
f) Summer. Guys/Girls in bathing suits!

3. What's your favorite school subject?
a) SCHOOL SUCKS!
b) Martial arts in gym.
c) Anything to please your mortal mother.
d) I was shunned from my home and never finished school. Thanks for asking.
e) Can't people like you just shut up!!!!!
f) Health…………..um, gotta go.

5. How many fingers do you hold up to test people's vision?
a) One, the middle one.
b) If a fist to punch them with counts, then 5.
c) The same number of fingers that it takes to hold a rose.
d) However many it takes to fire a bow from the back of a red elk.
e) All the ones with claws. Oh, sorry, I thought you said what I would hit you with.
f) Doesn't matter, as long as it is a long enough distraction so they won't notice me grabbing their ass.

MOSTLY A'S: You're Yuske Urameshi! Brash, rude, and violent is your nature, but you do have a sensitive side and will take extreme risks to save the ones that you care about. You're not a bad kid people just misunderstand you.
MOSTLY B'S: You are Hiei! Cold, sarcastic and arrogant. You are cold-hearted but you will go to the ends of the earth to save someone who matter to you. You can never resist those perfect opportunities to deliver a snide remark.
MOSTLY C'S: Ooooooh, foxy! You're Kurama, sweet, sensitive, you always know how to cheer up your friends in their times of need. Despite your caring nature, you are always ready to fight if it's necessary. You care deeply about your friends and family and sometimes you plunge straight into a situation to defend them.
MOSTLY D'S: You're Ashitaka! You have a fairly good understanding of most things that go around you, and you have to be kept in the dark. You're brave and noble but are not above accepting help when you need it.
MOSTLY E'S: You are the one and only, Inuyasha, a fiery tempered dog-demon. You are always there to insult someone who is being stupid and you're great at picking fights but your not above falling in love with someone.
MOSTLY F'S: You….you …you PERVERT! You're Miroku! *slap, slap* You major pervert that is always snooping around naked women/(men?) So eeew, I can't believe you choose F! Keep away from me you creepy pervert!!!

"If I was invisible, then I could just, watch you in your room. If I was invincible, I'd make you mine tonight. If hearts were unbreakable, then I could just, tell you where I stand. I would be the smartest man. If I were invincible, wait I already am." These are the lyrics sung by one of the most AMAZING people of the HISTORY of American Idol. No, that person didn't win. In fact, if it hadn't have been for the Wild Card show, he wouldn't have even been in the Top 12. But, even though they came in 2nd place, their album "Measure Of A Man" went Triple Platinum. This person is Clay Aiken.
On April 16th, 2004 at a little past 7:30pm in the Excel Energy Center, Rachel Simmer and I sat down in our seats and prepared ourselves for one of the BEST concerts ever.
It started like a lot of concerts, the worst or the band that isn't as well known goes on first. Even though this concert featured two people, this rule did apply. The first, well, I wouldn't call them a "band" but there were four of them so whatever. These four girls that came out were all skinny, scantily clad, and were sisters. They were called the "Bueze Sisters." They were HORRIBLE!!! They couldn't sing a NOTE in tune. They were trying to harmonize but it didn't work. They asked the crowd things like "Do you like Disney" and "Do you like Lizzy Maguire" and they sounded and sang songs that were the worst thing my ears have ever heard. And let me tell you, I have heard Kenny sing in the shower Scary! The only cool thing that they did was they sang this song called "STOP! Stay Away From My Sister." Which was bad, but during it some guys came out wearing dresses (Kinda like the backstage crew for My Fair Lady!) They were funny. Then they went off and WE WERE HAPPY!!! Coming on next was what Rachel, Emily Iversen and I had come for CLAY AIKEN!!!
My legs couldn't stop shaking. Clay Aiken is breathing the same air as ME! Was running through my head. Clay came on through doors on the hockey rink of the Excel center. IT WAS SO COOL!!! He was almost right in front of Rachel and I. He stayed on the floor for a while, singing a song (I don't know the name, it wasn't from the album) and then he slowly moved to the giant stage at the head of the hockey rink. Rachel and I were both standing and screaming our heads off. There were more middle-aged women in there (cough* Emily's Mom* cough) then anyone else. Clay sang MANY songs. IN total, he did sing his whole album. Through all of this, Rachel and I were SCREAMING!!! I almost lost my voice and yet kept screaming. During the song Invisible I couldn't help but stand up and sing along. It was one of the most moving things I have ever been to or been involved with. I was almost crying during the song The Way and couldn't help but laugh when Clay tried to dance. He sang a duet with one of the background singers and the song came from Kimberly Locke's album, which is coming out soon. It was really good. Clay and the lady did this dance and they were dancing close and Clay's hands were on her ass. I SO WANTED to be her. Clay did Prince's song When Doves Cry that was REALLY GOOD!!! In an interview, he talked about how he was curious about how Minnesota would react because Prince is our "homeboy". Well, we reacted with great applause. The funniest part of the concert though was when Clay saw a girl in the front row that was holding a cell phone, and her friend was on the other line. Clay says "Are you talking on a cell phone at MY concert? Here, give me that." And he took the phone from her. He them started talking to the person, who was of course screaming, and told her that he was doing a concert and he should stop talking. IT WAS SO FUNNY!!! I loved it.
I was really sad when Clay had to go off. He had played for about 1-2 hours and through it all he had worn this really cute hat (WHICH I WANT.) Up next, Kelly Clarkson. She started off with the song Low. Which, all you Evanescence people, sounds pretty cool. Overall, she did pretty well. Though she did have to start over her songs a few times because she forgot them. But, oh well.
I bought a T-shirt and a program at the concert. On our way home we play Clay really loud and so were many people. If I could have shared my joy at the end of that concert, it would fill the world two times over.

Okay guys, I realized that people are making to many excuses to be cool and make retarded acronyms when you can easily just say the real name, cuz people never know what it means anyways. Example: I'm going to marry an O.B.E. (Officer of the British Empire) see, you'd write it out anyways so what's the point of writing O.B.E.? Just to be cool or stupid???. So I have decided that I am going to make a NEW retarded Acronym each week just to prove my point more:

Are you breaking the law if you drive past those road signs that say "Do Not Pass"?
How can a stupid person be a smart-ass?
Crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime?
Day light savings time - why are they saving it and where do they keep it?
Do blind dogs have seeing-eye humans?
Do hummingbirds hum because they don't know the words?
Do people in Australia call the rest of the world 'up over'?
Does a man-eating shark eat women, too?
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
If you can't drink and drive, why do pubs have car parks?
If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
Was the pole vault accidentally discovered by a clumsy javelin thrower?
What do you call a bedroom with no bed in it?
What do you say if you're talking to God, and he sneezes?
What happens to an 18-hour bra after 18 hours?
What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?