The Official Table Rules;
Right Side of lunchroom, table closest to the Salad Bar
WBL school district
All proceeds go to FLOA (Foam Lovers Of America)
St. Paul, Minnesota, United States of America
North America, The World, The Universe in the Cosmos
The Official Table Rules;
The Royal Table Rules (The Visible Version)
What YOU gaze upon at this moment in time is the Visible Version of Table Rules, hereby to be followed and or carried out under the supervision of those who are Elders, main supervision to be directed by the Highest Elder, who has been elected in a Democratic fashion. Please note that this last sentence should be stated in a singular breath. WE advise taking a deep one.
IF ANY RULE OFFENDS you, THEN PROTEST! THE RULE SHALL BE DEBATED, AND WHEN EVERYone IS HAPPY, PROCEDINGS SHALL PROCEDE DUE TO ANY DESICION REACHED IN DEBATING PROCESS.
SECTION ONE~ General Cautionary
YOU, at all times, be aware THEY are watching YOU, (a.k.a. The LUNCH LADIES, LUNCH LADDIES, THE GARBAGE PERSONAGES, and THE E-VILE SUPERVISORS W/ REALLY AWSOME WALKIE-TALKIES.) WE, suggest that YOU, take great care.
Anything green can and might be considered offensive. PLEASE NOTE: this varies on a day to day basis.
PLEASE NOTE AGAIN: If Green is YOUR favorite color, then, it's all G.
PLEASE ALSO NOTE: There is a number of things that are ALWAYS considered offensive. We shall list them here:
1. Green apples(shudders)
2. Green M&M's (possibly blue M&M's)
3.Green teeth (Oh, come on! Use the latest invention: A FOOING TOOTHBRUSH!!)
4. Army patterned clothing. (Is offensive is large amounts.)
SECTION 2~Members and THEIR ranks
High Elders are NEVER to be made to throw away the Amazing Pile of DEAD pizzas*. This horrific show of bravery must be committed by the New members, who have no other option.
*Amazing Pile of Dead Pizzas in any form, even in non-pizza form. Possibly it's just basically NewComers throw away trash.
(See Thingy 2, SECTION 2)
New members of the Table are new until a new new member takes on this horrific role. YOU, as a New Member, have no rights and or position. Sorry. YOU are also referred to as NEWCOMER.
SPECIAL NOTE: Boy/Girlfriends that are foolish enough to come to the table are New members. Hahaha.
If a New Comer is only at the table for a short period of time, say, THEY come for a day, THEY are still New Comers.
To become a proper and Official Tablean, ONE must be thwacked by Both Drumsticks of Doom and Justice. One Drumstick will not do it, nor will an Invisible Drumstick.
If the Holders of the Drumsticks Doom and Justice bestow Temporary Power of (blank) Drumstick, it is allowed. That being the ONLY exception.
If YOU are not exactly a Tablean, but a friend, then YOU are a Tablean friend. Like, a special branch of non-Officalites. It is all G. (Note: If YOU are a Tablean Friend, please accept it when YOU are not included in EVERYTHING. WE try, but WE (Official Tableans) have OUR own personal jokes, good times, memories, customs, etc. Please go with OUR flow.) Tablean friends are just as important to US as Official Tableans are. But there's the camaraderie deal as well. Just don't think about it too hard. Brains are fragile things, and need plenty of rest.
SECTION 3~On Normality (or lack of it)
Do not call those who share YOUR table any names YOU do not wish to be called YOURself. YOU must remember YOU are now one of THEM too. Hey, YOU'RE the one who chose this table!! (See Thingy 2, SECTION 3 for more)
Accept the fact. YOU are not normal. Not even close. YOU may consider YOURself the following:
Smart Like That
Any other strange name YOU wish.
SECTION 4~On Anime
Being Tea'-ish is only accepted if YOU have a good reason. Otherwise, I wouldn't speak to kindly of her, unless YOU do want a SOUND POUNDING.
If YOU find an Anime character somewhat attractive, YOU'LL find YOURself in good company. Just try not to get a crush on Ash, or Brock, or Tracy Sketcher or someone totally YUCKO.
If you draw Anime, please share! WE're always ready to look at YOUR Anime!
If YOU don't like Anime, or disapprove of a Anime obsession, please keep YOUR thoughts to YOURSELF. Keep the good feelings flowing!
SECTION 5~On Friendship
Do not be ashamed if YOU have had anger management, counseling, any kind of therapy, depression/suicide treatment. Even though YOU might have problems, WE have pity and WE can relate.
Be a FRIEND. Don't lie, cheat, steal, laugh at (in a humiliating manner) tease, or hurt a FRIEND. Sure, every GROUP has THEIR rifts, but don't give reason to hurt SOMEONE.(This isn't Tea'ish, because it's true, and NOT very motivational)
Circle meetings are Holy Tablean procedures, and can only be called to order if two or more of OUR official number is present and approving. NOTHING leaves the Circle. Maybe if there is permission, but otherwise, ZIP the LIP.
(Note: If Thingy 3 is broken in any manor of blabbermouthing, the Tablean member that has been told upon can deny the accused event. Other Tablean members are encouraged to back this new story up.)
SECTION 6~ On Powder-Puffishness
Please, please don't wear green mascara! Unless YOU have a really, really, good reason!
Make-up is accepted. Excessive movie-star make up dealie-bop is NOT accepted, unless an alternative personality forced YOU, or YOU have a good reason, like THEATRE.
SECTION 7~On FOAM
All bow to the Holy FOAM.
See Thingy 1 SECTION 7. Repeat.
SECTION 8~On The Opposite Gender
Boys are like oxen. Big. Strong. But not that smart. With some exceptions. (NOTE: Tableans and Tablean Friends that are male are exceptions. On a few occasions THEY might skate rather close to that line, but what the foo.)
Please realize that every guy always has at least one problem that the table might see, but the love-stricken table member might not. It is the table's duty to help protect that member, with the least hindrance to the relationship as possible. PLEASE NOTE: Anime guys are guaranteed to be sweeter, smarter, and sexier and everything else better than normal guys. This is because, sadly, the Anime guys AREN'T REAL.
WE all know at least one guy that is a stupid perverted freak. The chances of US only knowing one are really, really miniscule. Every jerky guy is subject to disdain and ignorance by all who wish it.
Upon arrival of new Official Tableans or Tablean Friends (i.e. Friends who are not Official Tableans) that are male/female, if YOU are crushing, let Nature take HER course! Just remember, friendship usually lasts longer. A friend doesn't expect anything from YOU, and there are no sometimes awkward commitments between friends. In the end, it's up to YOU. Also, if YOU find a Tablean of longer membership attractive, same thinking process applies.
SECTION 9~On Quotes
Quotes are accepted and encouraged. Please don't hold back!
A very short list of quotes:
Bring on the Beef, Ba-BY!~T.K
If you put one foot in front of the other, you'll trip.~ R.S.
If all else fails, hide under a rock.~R.M
Once uponon a time there was a fish...~A.L.
You know what's ironic?...~A.L.
*Big happy love struck sigh*~J.H.
The dice, they speak to me!~A.L.
Life is short, so ride a tall horse!~ Groupie
Boys are like oxen, big, strong, but not that smart.~M.H.
All bow down to the all powerful foam! *Trust, trust in the foam! Remember to trust in the heart of the foam! Welcome, welcome, welcome to the world of Foa-mi-oh!*~Groupie
If Yugi had a beard...~A.L.
If life gives you lemons, chuck 'em back!~A.L.
Look at all dem Perdy Colors!~Many Victems
Cheese is good!~ J.M.
When in doubt, blame the trumpets!~M.H.
When in doubt, punch Tucker!~Groupie
Every cowgirl needs a cowboy to clean the stalls!~Bumper Sticker
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!~B
I'm gonna take you down!~Y.Y.
Man, I feel like a woman!~ Groupie
If we stopped being stupid, there'd be no school!~J.M.
Protect the back of your head!~M.H.
Come to papa!~J.W.
Pick flowers, be at peace~L.K.
Sun, sand, put it all together an' whaddya get? The BEACH, ba-BY!~T.K.
SECTION 10~On Multible Personalities
Multiple personalities make life more interesting.
Multiple personalities are accepted, if kept in check.
Random Floaters (i.e. GothKat, GothFerret, GothKhicken, etc.) are EVERYONE'S. Not just YOURS, but EVERYONE'S.
SECTION 11~On Notebooks
Notebooks are holy. No defacement (i.e. Ripping off cover on purpose, dripping coffee over a page on purpose, etc) of notebooks will be tolerated.
Notebooks will be started at will. To join, politely ask its creators. If THEy say "No," please be satisfied and not offended. If YOU are, then, sorry. It's YOUR own fault for feeling hurt. If these are YOUR friends, YOU know THEY don't mean to hurt YOU. (See SECTION 5, Thingy 2)
SECTION 12~ On Guilds
Guilds (mainly Neopets ones) are open to all when YOU are invited. Feel free to talk about anything or anyONE. (excluding said things in Sections 3 and 5)
SECTION 13~ On Sexual Preference
If you are gay, or lesbian, that's okay. Come on, it's like something YOU cannot help. Just as long as YOU don't start making other people feel uncomfortable, then it is all G.
If YOU are attracted to someONE (no matter gender) then know YOU can tell anyONE in the Table and feel comfortable doing so. WE will not laugh, go "Gross!" or ask YOU if aliens have invaded YOUR head. If aliens have invaded YOUR head, well, WE'RE Tableans, we accept YOU no matter what planetoid YOU hail from.
SECTION 14~ On Musical Preferences
If YOU don't like someONE's music choice, please be polite when asking THEM to either shut up about it or turn it off.
Be open to other PEOPLE's music. YOU might just find something that makes YOU GROOVE and MOOVE.
Please don't be insulted if YOU don't get invited to a concert, and other Tableans are. Tickets are spendy, parents give limits, and to be FRANK (not like, actually be someONE named Frank, but in the BLUNT sense of the word..) not everyONE wants to do something with everyONE all the time.
SECTION 15~ On Siblings
Only badmouth Tablean siblings if that Tablean allows it. If THEY ask YOU to stop, for goodness' sake, stop!
Remember, the siblings are related to Tableans. THEY gotta be cool some ware. Perhaps Deep raised to the ninth down, but it's in there. And some siblings are so cool, it's automatically obvious. That is all G.
SECTION 16~ On Everything Else
Add in stuff so that when the next revised edition is made, this too can be added in.
This edition has been revised on 6/26/04 by an Official Tablean