Oil Filled Fools
By Beth

Once there was a man named Jerry. He once heard that if you took a bath in vegetable oil, you were safe from electric shocks. After Jerry heard that, he decided it couldn't hurt to bathe in oil from that day forward.
One day Jerry was having four of his friends over. To get ready, he took his very first bath in vegetable oil. He smugly thought to himself I'm so much safer than those idiots that bathe with water! And filled his tub with oil. He got in and started to wash himself. 15 minutes later, he decided he had to get out of the tub to get ready for his party.
He started to stand up, but slipped on the oil! He kept trying to stand but he soon found it was impossible. He was stuck in the bathtub!! After about an hour passed, his friends got to his house. They knocked on the door, but his friends were so rude they didn't wait for anyone to answer the door and just walked right on in. they soon herd Jerry calling help and rushed to the bathroom.
You'd think his friends would be embarrassed to see him in the bath. I mean, most people take off their cloths when they bathe… but not Jerry! He always put on his swimming trunks so if he got stuck in the tub he wouldn't be embarrassed.
"Please help me get out of the bathtub!" Jerry pleaded.
"Well…. ok…." said his friend Terry. Terry then turned to Jerry's other friends (Berry, Larry, and Harry) and said, "Lets help this pathetic loser out the tub! Ready? GO!"
And with that, Terry grabbed Jerry's hand and pulled. It would have worked out fine, except Terry slipped on some oil that splashed onto the floor. With that, Terry fell into the tub. The same thing happened to Harry, Larry and Berry!
Soon there were five buff guys with rhyming names stuck in a bathtub (Jerry was buff so he would be safe in case he got mugged, Terry because he herd girls like buff guys, Berry because he was a pro-boxer, Larry because he was raised by a pack of wolfs for the first 18 years of his life, and Harry worked out a lot because he liked the smell of sweat). If a girl (or maybe anyone else for that matter) had walked in just then, they would have thought, " I am now scarred for life. I will never sleep again." This is all caused the fact that all of the men were wiggling around and to someone who didn't know what was going on it would have looked like they were groping at each other.
Finally they settled down and decided to think of a plan to get out of the tub. They sat there for well over five hours and didn't think of anything. Why they didn't think to empty the tub and then wait until they dried off, we'll never know. But we do know that they began to get hungry and thinking how nice it would be to eat the weakling.
Soon they were back to struggling to get out. But they stopped when Terry accidentally turned on the faucet and hot water came out. Because Jerry was too afraid of germs, the hot water was almost boiling. Soon they felt the oil start to heat up and then after a few minutes it started to boil. After a brief scuffle, Harry turned out to be the weakest. Larry, Terry, Jerry, and Berry held Harry's head under, until he was light brown and toasted. The problem was that everyone else was also being cooked alive.
The remaining men sat around for there last meal. Harry sure did taste good. "If we get out of this alive," Terry said, "lets become cannibals!"
Jerry, Berry, and Larry agreed.
One hour later when the police arrived, all that was left of Terry, Larry, Jerry, and Berry were lightly toasted and cooked to perfection. All that was left of Harry was bones.

The End